This experiment, in fact, was not new.It was in 1996 when social psychologist Arthur Aron carried out an interesting study to delve into the concept of human intimacy, did not seek precisely to know how to people fell in love even less to promote what could be achieved through their work.
36 questions to fall in love with someone in 60 minutes.Is it possible?
As a psychologist of Interpersonal Relations laboratory at Stony Brook University, New York, just wanted to work at "experimental level" different variables about human relationships and that curious connection, or complicity that sometimes they settle between some people and others.
And for that, Arthur Aron set up a series of 36 questions that held them The experimental ones exchanged with each other to get to know each other, to touch «that personal fiber» that thread of intimacy that, sometimes, makes us feel affinity for one type of personality and not another.Now, this work as we say was done in 1996 , and it is now, on January 9, 2015, when he was recovered in "The New York Times" , by the academy Mandy Len Catron.
Do you guess what was sought on this occasion with the work carried out by Arthur Aron? That these questions established to achieve some intimacy and emotional connection between people, also serve to get "fall in love and fall in love". And the premise would be the following: if I establish a conversation with someone that attracts me and I ask you these 36 questions, I can make us establish a very special intimacy that favors falling in love.
Is this possible? We offer you the battery of questions below to offer you some information endings by way of reflection.We begin!
Arthur Aron's 36 questions for intimacy and human closeness
The way to carry out this battery of questions would be as follows: both subjects stand face to face and ask questions in the eyes.Both people must answer them. eye contact should not be lost at any time.
3 sets of questions are established, establishing a break in each of them.
First series of questions
Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you rather have as a guest for dinner? Would you like to be famous? In what way? Before making a call, rehearse what you are going to say? Why? What would a “perfect” day be like for you? When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else? If you were able to live up to 90 years...What would you prefer? Have the mind of a person of 30 or his body? Do you have any secret hunch of how you think you will die? Name three things you would like to have in common with your partner. What thing in your life do you feel most grateful for? If you could change anything the way you were raised, what would it be? Take four minutes and explain the story of your life.g> If you could wake up tomorrow having obtained any quality or ability, what would it be?Second series of questions
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or Anything else, what would you want to know? Is there something you have been dreaming of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? What is the greatest achievement of your life? What do you value most in a friendship? What is your most treasured memory? Which Is your memory more terrible? If you knew you were going to die suddenly within a year, would you change anything about the way you live? Why? What does the friendship for you? What roles do love and sadness play in your life? Explain 5 things you are looking for in a partner Do you have a good relationship with your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than that of most people? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?Third series of questions
Ask three true statements like "we." For example, "We are now asking ourselves questions, we are now calm..." Complete this sentence: "I would like to have someone to share..." If you were to become In a close friend of your partner, please share that it would be important for her or him to know. Tell the other person in front of you that you like him or her. Talk about some shameful moment of your life. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And you alone? Tell the person in front of you what you like about the friends you have now. What, if anything, is too serious to joke about? If you were to die this afternoon without the opportunity to communicate with someone, what would you regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told her yet? Your house, with everything you own, catches fire.After having saved the people you love and your pets, you have time to make one last run, rescue some object and Go back to safety.What would it be? Why? Of all the people in your family, whose death would affect you the most? Why? Share a personal problem and ask the person in front of you for advice, to find out how he or she would handle it.Some final thoughts...
As you can see, the level of intimacy that can be reached with these questions is perhaps very intense. In fact, it is very It is possible that already consolidated couples have not come to speak or take such a deep interest in all these aspects that in reality, they describe not only how we are, but also speak of our fears and needs.
Doing this with a stranger is certainly open to a level, which may not be comfortable for much, hence it is worth going little by little, starting with the first series .If one notices discomfort, it is better not to continue.Now, does this serve to make us fall in love or fall in love with someone? There is no sure answer, love is very complex, indomitable and inexplicable, sometimes just one look is enough, and other times, however we need months to realize that we love someone.
These questions, they serve without a doubt to meet us at a very intimate level, what happens next, will only be told by time, circumstances, and that magic that escapes from any experimental laboratory.
What do you think about these questions? We are waiting for your comments!
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