DO NOT use false modesty, it hurts you more than you imagine

Cristiano Ronaldo said in an interview that being humble was a way of showing pride.Interesting, right? Will false modesty be an indirect way of showing off? Will your interlocutors perceive it that way?

Well, the truth is that a study proves that he is right.When someone flatters us, we usually respond by taking away importance.But if our achievement it is evident, our friends can get angry and think "why does it do it? To repeat it again? Do you want me to give you your ears? ”And then your good intention turns against you.

Don't use false modesty to complain to you

According to the researchers in this study, many people resort to humility and the complaint to deny something that disturbs them or to boast an event indirectly .When this happens, in both cases it is received as a sign of arrogance.Let's look at an example, to clarify what we are talking about.

You have a friend with a managerial position in your company.One day she arrives, with her head down and says "I'm tired of everyone seeing me like a leader.”Doesn't it generate rejection? The normal thing is that yes. The usual thing is that it is understood as a gesture of pride, of self-pomp, but cowardly .

Would you change something if your friend said «I'm sick of me work, I can not with so much responsibility »? Very much. Here I would be assuming that the situation is overcoming it or that, really, it is not qualified for it .However, in the previous case, it would convey that it is tired of others valuing it in a positive way.Does anyone think that a person can be tired of the recognition of others?

Solution: emotional intelligence and honesty

Be certain that your friend thinks she is acting correctly. Your mistake may come from your inability to handle your own feelings or to understand the feelings of others .However, emotional intelligence is essential.This helps us know what happens to us and why, as well as to understand others.

Perhaps your friend is not able to detect the root of her discomfort. When she feels, she does not identify the trigger of her emotions well and confuses the consequence with the causes .Yes, you don't see that it makes you overwhelmed to make so many decisions or that the future of your team Po work depends on it.Therefore, what he communicates is sincere, although misguided.

DO NOT use false modesty, it hurts you more than you imagine

It may not be so. You simply die to say that it is essential for your team and not He knows how to do it. He doesn't want to bother you, but he has to tell it, so choose false modesty.Here empathy fails.He fails to put himself in your place, his desire clouds his judgment.

In this case, the negative effects of the chosen formula would have been less than having opted for sincerity, «I love being the reference of my employees ». This message expresses the illusion of those who live what they like .Therefore, you will speak positively about it and you will be happy for it.No more.

Therefore, we recommend that you chat with your environment with honesty, without fear of recognizing your achievements, or ashamed to enjoy your life.We all do our best to be well, so if you are, why hide it?

If you were interested in this article, we recommend: Is it a narcissist? With this UNICA question you will know.

Image: Juan Jose Richards, Sebastian Januszevski via Flickr

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